﴿ وَلَا تَنكِحُوا۟ مَا نَكَحَ ءَابَآؤُكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةًۭ وَمَقْتًۭا وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًا ﴾

“AND DO NOT marry women whom your fathers have previously married - although what is past is past: this, verily, is a shameful deed, and a hateful thing, and an evil way.”

The maxim ‘the past is past’ relates not just to marriage, but stands out as a general principle of wisdom. Whenever any change takes place in life, whether at the family or the national level, many affairs of the past, looked at by modern standards, appear to be wrong on all such occasions. Orders based on things which have now become irrelevant give rise to innumerable problems. The right approach is, therefore, to forget the past and direct one’s efforts to reforming the present and future. The advice in verse 19, ‘if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something which God might make a source of abundant good’ may appear here with regard to the relationship between husband and wife, but it is a form of general guidance as well. It is commonly found that the Quran, while giving guidance on a specific matter, also sets forth profound advice of a general nature which may concern a human being’s entire life. Living collectively is an essential condition for human life in this world. No one can survive alone. However, due to the variations of temperament among individuals, some irritants inevitably crop up. In such a situation the only practicable approach is to ignore complaints, avoid friction and endeavour to maintain peaceable relationships. It often happens that one detects some shortcoming in his companion and becomes annoyed with it. Instead, if he ponders over the matter, it will be evident that there are few situations which do not have their unfavourable aspects. Adversities sometimes become a test of patience; sometimes act as a stimulus to turn to God in repentance and sometimes their very vexing nature teaches an important lesson.